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Chapter 5
With no school to go to, most of my time was spent repairing headquarters. It was all because Akito was too stingy to hire anyone. He said that we couldn’t risk bringing in outsiders in case they discovered the library, our weapons, the illegal shotgun, and his gunpowder stock in the basement. Akito said he had enough ammunition to blow up my school, but I think he just didn’t want to part with his money.
The building had taken quite a blow from the fox monster attack, so we had to rebuild the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and study. Kurt tried to argue that because I helped destroy it, I should repair it all, but Akito insisted that the physical labour was all part of our training.
“The organisation used to hire more outsiders,” said Laurence as he happily nailed the floor next to me. “But then they arrested my uncle on suspicion of imprisoning young people and running a cult. He spent ten years in prison.”
“I don’t see why we have to make all the repairs,” said Tyson as he threw down his hammer and began rubbing his throbbing wrist. "We’re supposed to be monster hunters, not repair men!”
“Doing repairs is all part of being a self-sufficient exorcist,” said Akito as he walked past carrying a pile of new tiles for the bathroom.
“Cleaning the toilet is all part of being a self sufficient exorcist,” said Tyson while impersonating Akito’s stern voice.
“Maybe we’d get everything done faster if Katie actually did something instead of just reading a magazine!” Protested Isaac from the next room as he angrily painted the wall.
“Colour coordination is very important,” said Katie as she began circling furniture in a department store magazine. “We’ve already suffered enough, and the last thing we need is having to stare at ugly furniture."
"It would be better than having to stare at your hair in the bathroom sink!” Replied Isaac.
“Stop your moaning Isaac!” Yelled Tyson.
“Somebody’s whipped!” Retorted Isaac.
“Is it just me,” muttered Tyson to Nina. “Or has Isaac been hard to tolerate recently?”
“I guess he still hasn’t gotten over, you know what,” she said while secretly trying to indicate towards me, but I knew what she was doing. Isaac had given up trying to convince the others that I was evil since they voted against him. He then spent most of his time sulking instead. He’d quickly turned into the king of witty comebacks, and he had a smart remark for everything the others said to him.
“Is there anything else that you need help with Akito?" Asked Nina’s brother as he merrily brought in the new wooden beams for the roof.
“I suppose you could help me with these tiles,” groaned Akito as he picked up a stack and handed them to the younger exorcist.
“Yes sir!” Said Nina’s brother with a smile so bright that it threatened to blind me.
Hugo on the other hand was the exact opposite of Nina’s brother. He was just pretending to do work, but he’d been sanding the same piece of wood for the past three hours so he wasn’t fooling me. Kurt had also attempted to copy Hugo and spent the last hour pretending to varnish the veranda, until Akito caught him playing games on his phone.
Nina’s brother had been pretty hostile towards Akito when his boss was around, but with Sebastian gone Akito was obviously the next best authority figure to suck up to. It was like Akito had gained his own personal slave. It was great at first because the rest of us didn’t have to work as hard, but the power soon went to his head and he expected the rest of us to be suck ups as well. Normally whenever Akito ordered us to do anything, and we refused to move, he would give up after ten minutes, but now he was relentless.
“Tyson,” Akito ordered. “Go to the hardware store and pick up another box of nails.”
“What! But I just went,” complained Tyson. “You’ve made me go three times already! Why can’t someone else do it?”
“Adrian,” said Akito while looking at Nina’s brother. “Make Tyson go to the store and buy another box!”
Nina’s brother nodded and looked at Tyson sternly. “Tyson, what would your mother say if she saw you ignoring a direct order from your superior.”
“Fine! Fine! I’ll go,” said Tyson as he kicked his hammer and got up to leave.
Kurt was assigned to put the floorboards in place in the living room. He quietly crept closer to Nina who was handing me nails.
“You need to do something about your brother Nina,” he hissed. “Now Akito expects the rest of us to act like that.”
“Don’t you think I’ve already tried,” Nina hissed back while looking over her shoulder to make sure he couldn’t hear us. “He’s insufferable. Just because we’re siblings doesn’t mean that he’s going to listen to me.”
“You can’t fool me,” said Kurt. “I’ve seen the two of you being nice to each other. That’s not natural. Just look at Laurence and me, we’re related and we fight all the time, right Laurence?” He said before he picked up a screw and casually tossed it at Laurence’s back.
“Ouch, that hurt,” moaned Laurence.
“Do something!” Kurt hissed to Nina.
“I’ll try, I’ll try,” said Nina. “But both my parents already tried and failed before me.”
If things weren’t bad enough, Kurt thought it was funny to start calling me Monster Mike. Talk about not reading the atmosphere. He even made up his own song to go along with it. I could hear him humming it under his breath when he went back to nailing the floor. The lyrics went something like this
It was a cold dark night
It was exorcising time
But then out came Monster Mike
He was a terrifying sight
That monster Mike
The girls were terrified
That monster Mike
He ate up Laurence in one bite
I was thinking about whether or not I should stand up for myself, before Katie walked over and promptly hit Kurt over the head with her rolled up furniture magazine.
“I don't think this is something to joke about,” she said.
“Geez,” muttered Kurt as he rubbed the back of his head. “Why so serious?”
“Thanks Katie,” I said. I expected her to smile or act nice like the time she attempted to save me from the fox monster, but instead she went straight back to her magazine. She spent the next hour circling the house like she was imagining the new layout, and I wished we could swap jobs.
The biggest surprise since finding out that I was a super exorcist, was finding out that Tyson and Katie had been dating for weeks. I had no idea. They’d been going home together on Tyson’s scooter for a while, and they did spend a lot of time together alone in Katie’s room, but I thought they were just good friends.
I was happy that Tyson got himself a girlfriend, but it was a little mortifying to see the usually stoic Katie hand feeding Tyson with a spoon at break time.
Tyson had also switched from taking photos of monsters to taking photos of himself and Katie. His famous monster picture wall was now scattered with pictures of him and Katie making lovey dovey poses, and I scanned the photos only to be confronted with a picture of the two of them kissing.
Everyone else thought it was gross, and even Akito went out of his way to avoid them. I think it just reminded him of how much of an old boring guy who couldn’t get a date he was.
Unlike everyone else, they didn’t bother me at all. I just hoped that Annie and I could be that cute one day. Annie was still recovering from her injuries in the hospital, so I thought the best thing to do as her potential boyfriend would be to go over there and shower her with flowers. The only problem was that I didn’t know where she was staying, so I went and asked Tyson for the address during lunch time.
“I don’t know how to say this nicely, so I’m just going to say it,” said Tyson. He took a deep breath. “Annie doesn’t want to see you.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but I was so shocked that I couldn’t make a sound for at least a minute. “What! Why!” I finally said in horror.
“She was asking about you and everything,” said Tyson. “But then Isaac went to visit and he somehow convinced her that you’re a man eating monster. She freaks out every time we mention your name now.”
“I’m not a man eating monster!” I protested. “I’m a super exorcist! A super exorcist I tell you!”
“I know, don’t worry,” he said as he patted me on the back. “I’ll have a talk with her.”
It was a huge shock to find out that my future girlfriend didn’t want to see my face anymore. I had a lot of faith in Tyson, but I was still worried that he wouldn’t be able to convince her to change her mind. What if she never talked to me again? What if she became like Isaac and spent all her free time plotting my demise?
I had spent months imagining our glorious future together, and I had it all planned out in my head. We would begin dating through high school and then marry after graduation. It would be a grand ceremony on the beach with an all you can eat buffet and all my friends since kindergarten would be there. Isaac would also be invited. But he would cry during the ceremony before finally admitting that I was a far better match for Annie than he could ever be. We would then become an awesome exorcist couple and travel the continent together, before finally settling down and having dozens of small children who would also be super exorcists. I thought I wasn’t asking for much, but now my dream had been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.
I felt like my life was over, and I could do nothing but lie lifelessly in my room for hours until Sis forced me to go to headquarters.
My sister said that I had gotten carried away too soon, and that I should have asked her out before even considering a future together, but what did Sis know. Just because her ex-boyfriend left her over ten years ago didn’t make her a relationship expert. She just didn’t understand the special bond that Annie and I had.
From that moment on, Tyson and Katie’s relationship no longer seemed cute, and I realised why everyone was avoiding the two of them. Seeing them happily together just reminded me about how dismal my girlfriend prospects were.
“You’re so cute,” said Tyson in the garden while Katie sat on his lap. They were supposed to be replanting Akito's pot plants, but that was quickly forgotten as soon as Akito left to restock the paint.
“No, you’re so cute sugar plum,” said Katie in a high pitched childlike voice which didn’t suit her at all.
“No, you’re so cute sugar plum,” mocked Kurt as he walked past.
“You're just jealous that you don't have a girlfriend!” Tyson yelled back.
I attempted to call Tyson Sugarplum for all the times he called me Mikey, but Tyson retaliated and threw his math textbook at my head. It hit my forehead and blood began pouring out for at least two minutes. Tyson quickly realised his mistake and attempted to clean me up with some bandages before Akito found out.
“Ah shit, sorry bro,” said Tyson while he tried to stop the bleeding with a towel in the kitchen. “I didn't expect it to actually hit you, you know I was aiming for the wall right? I just wanted to give you a shock.”
“My life is flashing before my eyes,” I said. “I'm standing under the slide on my first day of elementary school, I’m eating cake at my sister's wedding, I'm standing outside waiting for the fo-”
“You’re not going to die!” Tyson interrupted as he frantically patted the blood away. “I think.”
“Killed by Algebra! That's what they'll write on my tombstone!”
“Shhh,” hushed Tyson. “Why are you always so melodramatic when it comes to death? Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of all powerful exorcist or something?”
“An all powerful super exorcist who was defeated by a textbook!” I cried dramatically.
“Look! The bleeding's stopped,” said Tyson. He whipped out a large band-aid and stuck it to my forehead. "If anyone asks, say that you fell asleep while meditating on the rock and bumped your head.”
I peeled the band-aid back a few hours later to inspect the damage, and found that the wound had healed completely. It seemed like my new exorcist powers had increased how fast I could heal. I was also curious as to what other super awesome exorcist powers I had.
The only person who was more depressed than me about their love life was probably Nina. Ever since Katie and Tyson started dating, she spent most of her time lethargically lying around the shrine and staring off into space. Akito almost had a fit when he overlooked her shooting arrows, and every one of them fell to the ground before missing the target. It was like she didn't have the energy to pull a bow anymore.
“Not Tyson again!” Said her brother. He sat her down in what was left of the study and began an intervention. “You've been pining over him for years and now look where it's gotten you. The guy obviously doesn't care about anything other than himself and his cell phone. It's time to leave these childhood crushes behind and concentrate on more important things in life.”
“Yes, I guess you're right brother,” said Nina lifelessly like a robot.
“And the best way to overcome your shortcomings as an exorcist is to marry young and start a family,” said her brother. “Then you won't have to worry about training or hunting monsters anymore, and the exorcist world is just full of eligible bachelors who are waiting to meet you."
He whipped out a set of photos from his pocket and began laying them on the table before her.
“Like this guy,” he said while pointing to a picture of a man in his late thirties. “He may be losing his hair, but he’s an up and coming star within the organisation, and will definitely get promoted within the next few years. Here’s Fredric who’s been desperate to get married since he turned forty. And then there’s Albert who doesn’t talk much, but he's the star accountant in the main office. Why even Isaac comes from a very well known and influential family.”
“Isaac's only in ninth grade and I'm still seventeen,” said Nina darkly. “Stop trying to use me to improve your career brother. If you want to make more connections, you should just make them yourself.”
Nina may have been polite and soft spoken, but when she was angry she could rival Katie or Sis. Her brother wasn't deterred and tried to push another photo of a bald middle-aged exorcist onto Nina, only to have her over turn the table in rage.
I guess it must have been pretty tough to see the guy she liked snatched up by her enemy and cousin. I never knew that she had a thing for Tyson, but that did explain why she had NT stamped all over her notebooks surrounded by little love hearts.
I felt sorry for her, but on the plus side it meant that Tyson was out of the way if I ever wanted to pursue her. I wasn't sure if Nina was okay dating a guy who was younger than her by two years. If Isaac was a definite no go than maybe I didn't have a chance. I thought I could at least be her shoulder to cry on, but unfortunately Laurence got there first. I saw him attempt to offer her ice-cream, but Nina shooed him away like no one else but Tyson Song was worth talking to.
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